Hanging on the Edge of My Seat . . .

Does this mean that the phrase "Good job, Brownie!" was:

  • a compliment upon seeing Brownie's attractive pants

  • delight upon the discovery that the attractive pants were on sale

  • total delerium because not only were the attractive pants on sale, but qualified for free shipping when ordered online
  • discovery that Brownie had hired a former employee and long-time friend of Dick Cheney to babysit his doggie, whose name shall not be revealed because Judge Antonin Scalia would say it is completely irrelevant and his decision is in no way influenced by his decades-long friendship with the Vice President or recent hunting trip with said decades-long friend

  • sarcasm, since at that point it was fairly obvious that someone really wanted to go back to his horsies

  • sarcasm, since the White House IT department had forwarded President Bush a report revealing that Brownie had 4,872* ** unread e-mails in his inbox, all of which contained the phrase "In the Name of God! Help Us Now!" in the subject line
* I made this number up. I have no idea how many unanswered disaster-related e-mails really existed, although I believe even five would have been too many in this case.

This is a real report reported to the management team at my cage . . . er, place of employment. My personal record is 283, which doesn't count because it took two days to transfer my computer access to the new store. For two days I would log in and the computer would immediately crash. Normally I have roughly 35-50 unread e-mails, which doesn't count either because I also get them cleverly disguised as a list in one of my reports. In all fairness, I have never received any e-mails from the home office with a subject line reading "In the Name of God! Help Us Now!"