** snort **

My favorite soundbite of the day, funnier even than Microsoft's belief that massive corporate restructuring (seven business units into three -- quick! Count the Stooges!) will make us give up Gmail (or even Yahoo! Mail) for Hotmail:

Martha Stewart, on fur:

“I used to wear real fur, but, like many others, I had a change of heart when I learned what actually happens to the animals.”

With PETA's new commercial.

Come on, Martha -- you're a smart girl.

You ran around wearing coats (and accessories) made from the skin and hair of actual living creatures, and it never crossed your mind that perhaps skinning and hideous, painful death could be used together to describe your look?

Yeah, I know I usually hate PETA, but you have to remember -- I am the girl who once ruined a relatively civil family Thanksgiving by displaying baby pictures of The Ham.

Wearing doll clothes.

And a bonnet.

I am the waitress who once described the Soup of the Day as "dead birds and rice" or "dead animals and cabbage" ("Have a salad," I suggested. "What exactly do you mean by 'animals,' " the customer asked. Vegetarianism is wasted in Texas.).

I also once told a hunter who was attempting to buy deer corn (yes, you are allowed to feed "wild" game in Texas for six months until you actually get around to shooting it) for his hunting lease that he must feel very manly, shooting his dog.

"But it's for a deer!" he exclaimed, completely bewildered by my brand of customer service.

"Do you feed your dog? Same thing."

You see, there's reasons they keep me in the warehouse.

Via Dooce.