Dancing with . . . er, Goats

The Boy has written his first semi-original video game plot, entitled Goat Frenzy.

"I think it would be fun to drive a goat, Mommy.

Why doesn't anyone make video games about goats?"

See if you can spot the source material, or feel free to call me names if you believe working in retail has jaded me to the point that I view everything in terms of marketing catch phrases.

One day, a little goat named Jack escapes from his pen, and goes out behind the rancher’s house to eat trash.

While he is gone, coyotes come and steal the rest of the herd . . .

The ranch dogs tell him that they were powerless against the coyotes, and that they cannot leave the farm. It is up to Jack to rescue the herdThe dogs assure him that they will help as much as possible . . .

The coyotes have split the herd into small, manageable groups, and there is a series of rescue missions which involve head-butting the coyotes, gathering the groups of goats and leading them to safety. There is the occasional stray that must be rescued by completing a puzzle.

Safety is defined as gates, built into the ground, hillsides, trees, etc.

Jack escorts a group of goats to the gate, which is opened by a dog who then escorts the goats back to the farm.

The coyotes gradually get bigger and more heavily armored, and Jack is finally defeated trying to rescue the nanny goat, who is whisked away to the lair of the Black Widow coyote.

Jack meets a raven, who sends him into the desert to find what he needs to defeat the Black Widow coyote.

Jack eventually runs out of water and passes out. He has a vision from the Wolfmother, who sends him on a quest to a mountain to retrieve a crystal he can use to destroy the Black Widow. The Wolfmother tells him he will know what to do when the time comes . . .

The mountain involves a lot of hopping, and battles with mountain lions and bears.

The crystal is retrieved!

We are very happy!

On to the lair of the Black Widow, where Jack battles an assortment of armoured coyotes and the boss, the Cyborg Coyote.

Jack shatters the crystal, which contains the Cyborg Coyote’s heart, and hurls it into the Cyborg Coyote.

As the Cyborg Coyote dies, it is revealed that he is actually Old Man Coyote, tricked by the Black Widow who only pretended to love him so she could steal his brain to use in her evil plans.

Old Man Coyote just wants to watch the sun set, and go back to the land.Before he dies, he gives Jack a key that he can use to defeat the Black Widow.

It is very sad, The Boy assures me.

Jack goes to the Black Widow’s lair, defeats her, and rescues the nanny goat.

They go back to the ranch.

But Jack wonders . . . is it really over?

"You see, Mommy, you have to put in the starting point for the sequel, or else you're not allowed to have one.

This way I can either fight with Black Widow Coyote again, or I can have the story of Cyborg Coyote."

"Didn't you just kill him off?"

"Yes. But everybody will want to know how he became a cyborg."