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Red . . .

Oh, yeah.

I'm seeing red . . . bright, day glo red, the sort of red that makes people ask me about the active volcano in my happy place.

The Boy is in first grade.

We have established that he has a tremendous amount of trouble based on the mere fact that he has an expanded vocabulary that does not contain the phrase "y'all" . . . and that the Guidance Counselor believes he would be better served by using monosyllabic words whenever possible.

One of the things he is graded on daily is behavior. Green is good; yellow is slightly bad; move on to red and the dreaded blue.

Today he was red.

Why, you ask?

Did he hit someone? Bite someone? Threaten to burn down the school? Suggest his teacher might not enjoy the business end of a plasma rifle?

Er . . . no.

Faced with a stack of worksheets in math and science, he blew through them.

Mrs. Teacher explained to me that her instructions were to not work ahead and wait for the slower kids.

Mrs. Teacher was very indignant that The Boy finished the week's worth of worksheets in one class.

While waiting for the slower kids to catch up.

I, in front of Mrs. Teacher, explained to The Boy that you don't want to work ahead because you might hurt the feelings of someone who can't work quite as rapidly. It might make them feel like they couldn't do it at all, if they realized that he could finish all the work in the same time it took them to get through the first page.

"No, no," said Mrs. Teacher. "He didn't listen to directions."

"Was the work correct?"

"Yes, but he wasn't supposed to do it! He was supposed to wait!"

"And he did it all while waiting for them to finish the first page?"

"Yes. He was supposed to wait."

"Did he have anything to do while he was waiting?"

"He was supposed to sit quietly. And wait."

I really wanted to pull up her shirt and check the small of her back for a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation logo . . .

Share and enjoy, baby. Share and enjoy . . .

8 comments:

snowballinhell said...

OK, it's official. It's time to get that teacher a REAL BRAIN!! GAH!

Ghost said...

You know, in a perfect world, we could break her kneecaps and get Billy a job . . .

Penny said...

So no child left behind also means so chilc can get ahead? Unbelievable....

billy said...

...hahahahahahahahahaha - brilliant...

...no, not the post and the story that tells, that is damn annoying...but the comment by ghost :^)...

...brilliant - I like you :^)...

Ghost said...

Mrs. Teacher did it to him again.

This time he got "too excited" when the class went out for a fire department's presentation. Apparently the phrase "Boom, baby!" has no place in a class discussion about fire safety. Even if the firemen think it's funny . . .

Again, with the "don't tell your mother" thing.

** snarl **

That's the part that really bothers me.

We have formally dismissed all color-related punishments. The Husband observed that the question "What was your average daily color in first grade?" doesn't appear on many college applications . . .

Ghost said...

On No Child Left Behind:

Well, think about it.

If you aren't going to blame disinterested parents or understaffed schools for poor performance, it stands to reason that the only way to keep even one from falling behind is to make everyone else stop and wait for him/her . . .

Dana said...

Sounds like your kiddo is smarter than his teacher. The red was simply a marker of her inadequacy...

vatergrrl said...

Mediocrity -- no, fulminating idiocy -- is always threatened by intelligence. I hope The Boy spends the rest of first grade firmly in the blue zone -- he sounds like a smart cookie. Oh, yes, and pack a book for him to read during all the downtime, unless Ms. Mediocrity would feel threatened and snatch it away, sending him into the ultraviolet zone.